Day Four, In which I run a little and get the evil eye

First,

I have to say that My Mother's Day Present worked like a dream!!

Awesome.

 and the inch of Duct tape I put on my heel to cover my blister (suggested by Mr. Evil) was much more effective than I thought it would be!

Also...

I jogged a little. Overlard Cheeks and his minions The Thunder Twins were not pleased. And it felt awkward, and Poppy was kind of a spaz too. ("WTF? I have to run now too?") 

BUT... I shaved a minute off my time! it takes me 11 minutes to do a lap. We figure that the neighborhood is a little over a half mile, so I do two laps. I can walk a mile in 22 minutes. Not good, really, but improving.

So I have some interesting neighbors. By interesting I mean drug dealers and people who seem to enjoy getting into domestic 'events' that usually involve a Sheriff deputy or two.

Also, we have a large number of neighbors who have tiny, yippy dogs. They like to let everyone know we are around. Our neighbor's pug-thing only pees on EVERYTHING, but he doesn't bark. (I once caught him about to baptize the backpack I had just sat down by the car. ugh.)

So to give some back story, on the other arm of our U shaped road there is a man I like to call Grumpy Old Dude. About two years ago there was  little yippy dog running loose in my yard. (I was hugely pregnant at the time) It was friendly, but I didn't want poopies all over my front lawn so I caught him and took him back to (what I thought was) his home. Here I met Grumpy Old Dude. No, it wasn't his 'damn' dog... grumpy go away stare... as I stand there with a mangy dog, an adorable little girl, looking hugely pregnant, in the summer heat.

That's cool, you know, I mean maybe I interrupted something important, like the One Time This Year that the Missus Is Willing. I mean you know, I'd be grumpy too. We found the owner with the help of a friendly older lady. That is wholly unimportant to this morning's story.

So Poppy and I are walking in front of Grumpy Old Dude's house (after having just finished an awkward sprint... Note to self: Find a sports bra.) We walked by just as Grumpy Old Dude's Old Lady poked her head out to feed one of the 500 million cats that live in our neighborhood. As she opened the door, a chihuahua comes blasting off the porch and running at Poppy (we just kept walking and rather ignored the little nipper.) Suddenly, Grumpy Old Dude comes pushing out the screen door past his Old Lady to stand on his porch to glare at me in his red-shirt suspendered glory. As if his dog's poor behavior was my fault. *sigh*

I couldn't worry too much as I was dealing next with a dog I've dubbed Muffy, who is clearly jealous that Poppy is being walked and that she is not invited.

Also I am including a shout-out to my big sister who was beaned in the head by a hose coupler off of a fire truck on Tuesday!! It flew through her jeep's front window spraying glass everywhere and giving her a concussion, a very painful ear, and some bruises worthy of a biker bar brawl. I am glad you are alive, sis. She totally drove herself home and kept her cool.  Her wonderful RN buddy told her that a hit to the jugular = a trip to the emergency room. (Huh. Really?) She was awesome and I am so thankful she was there to get my big sister the attention she needed. (BTW- my sister is so awesome and cool. She totally kept her head the whole time by doing yoga, breathing, and counting. How awesome is she!?!?)

What starts with an 'F' and ends in 'UCK' ? Fire Truck!!! HAAAAA!!! HAAAaaaa... haaaaa...

come on you know it's funny.

so is this:

MMMM. Pop tarts...

Once, Twice, Three Times a ...Maybe?

Day Two Overview:

• Poppy didn't act like a kidnap victim (plus)
• She's still nervous about cars (minus)
• Got a blister (minus)
• Right calf was sore all day (neutral- expected event)
• I am a wiz at making rice bag microwave compresses (plus! my leg felt so much better!)

old washcloth microwaveable rice compress.

going to make another come winter and use them for foot/ bed warmers. MMMmmm...

Day Three came pretty early. We were up kind of late with E.G.'s awesome sibs who had come to chill for a while and then E.G. and I watched our Netflix-ed Two and a Half Men. (Can I just say... I LOVE NETFLIX!!!) and stayed up wayyyy to late. So when The Boy (My 2yr old son) woke me up at 4:45 I made the executive decision to can the 5:45 alarm and skip the walk this morning. BUT! I did not 'do nothing' and did do some push ups and crunches, and will probably do another set tonight for good measure. Plus it will let my blister heal a bit.

It turned out to be a sound decision because today I got my Mother's Day Present!!!

Check it out ya'll!!

That's right. This deserves an extra large pic :c)

Yeah Baby!!

These are an updated version of the pair of running shoes I had in college (scored for $15 at Sears when I worked there a hundred million years ago. I sold shoes. On commission. It was miserable, but valuable. I learned a WHOLE LOT on that first job) They were THE. BEST. SHOES. EVER.  And I was excited to find the next generation of the classic running shoe. I mean I wore those babies slap- out and held on to them even after it was clear their soles had departed. So thanks to my Dear Evil Genius and The Girl and The Boy. The Girl and The Boy were ever so patient with yours truly. BTW: The Sears shoe dept. just ain't what it used to be. I was super under impressed. I bought these babies at Penny's for about $40 (on sale ya'll geesh!) I know that sounds pricey (it does to me anyway, but I'm a tightwad.) But these? SO worth it!!

Tomorrow morning, we get moving again!

In a land where Fat and Glory collide...

A few things about me:

• I'm fat, ya'll.

• No, really.

• Back in school at my best I was a size 10 and 160 lbs. And that was probably because I spent hours in the Florida sun with about 15 lbs of drumming awesomeness strapped to me.

• I made it through college with out gaining much... Maybe 10 lbs, if that.

• Somewhere in there I found the Only Person On Earth That Understands My Jokes. He also has a brilliant Evil Mind. I was smitten. Seriously. The whole Evil Genius thing is my thing, ya'll.

• Rawr.

• We decided that it would be easier to rule and take over the world if there were more of us. We made two copies. The evil in this is so great that we have stopped making copies for fear that they will rise against us.

• Somewhere in there, I got my friend. I call her Fatty. She lives on my arms and according to a recent picture, she is threatening to eat my elbows. ::ew::

• Below Fatty, I have more friends. The Thunder Twins and their Overlard, Cheeks. They are now threatening a hostile takeover. This is not good ya'll.

So here's the thing:

I Hate Running.

No. Really.

I wouldn't run if you chased me (I'd shoot you. This IS the GunShine State.)

However, I have been in the business of conquering demons and have had a good deal of success as of late.

I am at risk for many awful things if I continue to let my friends grow. Things that will make me a very lame and uncool Mom. Dead is kind of lame and uncool.

The Evil Genius In My Life, Hence Known as E.G. will be changing schedules soon, allowing me a little free time in the morning to do battle.

I have thirty (30) days to make a difference before his schedule changes again.

The only way I can see myself making a real change is to actually suck it up and run.

The only problem is that I seem to need to have to be accountable to someone or I will not follow through. The only times I have really, really accomplished anything is when Someone is yelling at me. No, really. (I thought about stringing a recruiter along in this quest, Decided against it. It would be kinda unethical to lie...) SO, I plan to let this blog chronicle my Epic Battle. Tomorrow, I will take pictures. Don't worry. I understand that (in the words of E.G.'s awesome aunt whom I have adopted as my very own) "No One wants to see that shit."